It's Hard to Love

"Love is patient and kind.  Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude.  It does not demand its own way.  It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.  It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.  Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance."
-1 Corinthians 13:4-7 

Every day I say the words, “I love you.”  I dearly love my children and my husband.  Of course it is a little bit more challenging to show love to those who are more un-loveable and with whom I don’t have a close relationship, but I know we should always seek to do that because the Scriptures tell us to.  Today, however, as I was reading the familiar “love chapter” in 1 Corinthians, it made me realize how bad I am at showing love to others, even those I do love dearly.  If I have trouble really loving those closest to me, I know I am struggling with loving those who are harder to love.  Look at 1 Corinthians with me, and ask yourself if you are struggling with loving others too. 

Love is patient

• Ouch.  The first definition of love is convicting for me.  As Americans, we are known for our less-than-patient attitude.  I get impatient at my three year old for taking so long to get out of the car.  I can feel my blood boiling as he takes his precious time unbuckling his seat belt and stopping to admire a toy he found, and tripping over his shoe laces as he climbs out the door.  No joke-this happens multiple times a day.  And, I get the same exasperated look on my face and make the same sigh and tell him to “hurry up, please.” This is definitely not loving patiently.

And kind

• Do I display kindness throughout my day?  Am I looking for opportunities where people could be in need of a helping hand?  Or, do I see someone in need and pretend that I don’t notice because I don’t want to be inconvenienced?

Love is not jealous

• This one can come out when you least expect it.  I try not to look at others and want things that they have. I try to be content with what I have.  But, what about when someone else gets acknowledged for something in which I don’t get acknowledged?  Someone else gets praise for spending a lot of time on an event that I spent even more time planning, but I didn't get the praise for it?  Do I sulk and get mad that I didn't get credit, or do I participate in praising the person for their hard efforts as well?  Or, have you ever been around people who just always seem to get it right?  They must be overflowing with compliments all the time.  So, you don’t compliment them because you think they already get enough of those.  I’m learning that this is usually rooted in jealousy.  Because I’m jealous that I’m not the one who is good at everything, I’m hesitant to compliment the person who is.  What a sad way to live. I want to celebrate with others when they accomplish something, even if they seem to always get it right.  By celebrating with them, I get to share in their excitement instead of wallowing in jealousy. 

Or boastful or proud

• The other day I was talking with someone about why women gossip. It’s easy to say we just want to vent or get advice, but I think the main reason we gossip is so that we can feel better about ourselves.  By bashing someone else, we feel better about ourselves. By putting down others and their decisions, we puff ourselves up.  This is not love.  This is pride…at the expense of others.

Or rude

• When we’re having a bad day, sometimes it just all comes to a head right when our husbands walk in the door from work.  Instead of greeting him with a smile and asking him how his date went, it’s easy to offer a rude remark and give him a list of things in which you need his help.  This is not showing love towards my husband. 

It does not demand its own way

• I am a bit of a planner.  When I take the time to plan something, I have expectations that it will happen, and when things don’t go as planned, it’s really hard for me to accept.  While some people never make plans and never have expectations, this can be harder for those of us who do make plans.  When things get thrown off course, how will I react?  Will I pitch a fit because things did not go the way I envisioned, or will I make the best of the change in plans?  God is really growing me in this area right now because it seems like none of my plans are turning out the way I expected.  Sometimes it’s just out of our control, and we can learn to accept that or we can choose to be a person no one likes to be around (and NOT display love because love does not demand its own way). 

Booklist of 2014

It can be hard to carve out time to read a book when life is constantly busy with little ones. But, I've come to realize that books greatly influence my spiritual life.  By reading from others about what God has taught them, it can motivate us, inspire us, and challenge us to get out of our comfort zones.

I've also discovered that is is so important to make sure and read from Christian authors when it comes to topics where we are wanting advice or counsel.  When we are trying to learn and apply something, we want to make sure that we learn from someone who is pointing us to Christ.  When we hear from non-Christians on topics such as parenting, marriage, etc., we have to be very careful because their chief concern is not pointing us to Christ. They are just giving us their opinion and opinions come and go, but the "Word of Christ endures forever" (1 Peter 1:25).

Disclaimer: it can be tempting to put great books ahead of God's Word and this is a huge mistake that we should guard against.  NOTHING can replace God's Word and it has to be top priority.  If I try to replace His Word with a book, it will always fall short and I will not be able to grow in my walk with Christ as much.  If, however, we use books in conjunction with God's Word, we get the best of both worlds.  We get the infallible truth from Scripture and the personal insight from others that can help us live for Christ.

Here are some challenging books that I've read this past year.  I hope these books challenge and encourage your walk with the Lord as they have mine.  Blessings!

Bible:
I got a new Bible for Christmas that I'm really excited about.  It's set up with a devotional for each day along with a passage out of the Bible. Though it does not contain every chapter and verse from the Bible, it offers a complete view of Scripture without being overwhelming.  It skips material that appears more than once, giving a stream-lined look at the entire Bible.

It's called the Women's Sanctuary Devotional Bible

Spiritual Growth:
The Church Planting Wife by Christine Hoover
Seven by Jen Hatmaker
Makeover: Revitalizing the Many Roles you Fill by Jen Hatmaker
Unglued by Lysa Terkeurst
Follow Me by David Platt
Mindset for Moms by Jamie Martin
Mom Enough (FREE on John Pipers site)
Radical by David Platt
Seeking Allah, Finding Jesus by Nabeel Qureshi and Lee Strobel

Raising Children:
Hands-Free Mama by Rachel Stafford
Shepherding a Child's Heart  by Tedd Tripp
The Strong-Willed Child by James Dobson
Am I Messing Up My Kids? by Lysa Terkeurst
Don't Make Me Count to Three by Ginger Hubbard
The Mommy Manual by Barbara Curtis
Treasuring God in Our Traditions by Noel Piper

Marriage:
Sheet Music (only for married couples ;) by Kevin Leman
What's it like to be Married to Me? by Linda Dillow

Misc:
The Grain-Free Family Table by Carrie Vitt
What Alice Forgot by Liane Moriarty (this is a fiction, non-religious book, but it was kind of an eye-opener for me to remember to love your family and not get caught up in worldly things)

My Weekly Planner

See link to PDF download at bottom of page

It's so much easier for me to be productive when I have something written down each week.  And, it's so much easier to write something down when it's on cute paper!

I plan to use my weekly planner by putting it on a clipboard and hanging the clipboard on the wall where I can easily see it, make changes to it, etc.

Feel free to use my weekly planners for yourself too.  I made a Christmas one and a regular one. Hope it helps keep your week more organized!

For my weekly planner, I have included the following:

• Weekly Menu: It's so much easier to cook at home when I have already planned out our menu for the week!
• Memory Verse: I think it gets even harder to memorize with age, but I know it's so important to commit to memorizing more and more Bible verses.  
• Goals: I have this broken down into 4 sections:

1. Health: What goal do I have this week that can make me healthier (ex.Cut out sugar this week)?
2. Relationships: What is one relationship I want to strengthen this week?  This doesn't necessarily have to be an estranged relationship, but just a reminder to reach out to others.  Maybe you can reach out to a new co-worker or neighbor, etc.
3. New Habits: What new habit do I want to incorporate into my life?  This is just a great reminder to keep working on things.  An example might be to intentionally read a book to the kids for 30 minutes, etc.
4. Other: Any other goal you want to work on/accomplish (ex. pick out a paint color for the bathroom)

• Housework: Each day, list a household chore you want to accomplish.  Monday might be laundry and bathrooms, etc. 

• To Do: Write down daily schedules such as soccer practice, lunch appointments, etc.

• I am thankful for:This is just a reminder to be thankful.  It's hard to complain when you are cultivating a thankful heart.  1 Thessalonians 5:18 says, "Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus."

Download the Weekly Planner here.

Download the Weekly Christmas Planner here.

The Importance of a Retreat

This past month we took 75 students from our youth group on a fall retreat.  We were up in the Tennessee mountains, away from everyday life.  We did not even have cell phone reception.  We spent time praying before we left for the retreat that it would be a life-changing time for our students: that God would open up their eyes to the things that they needed to change in their lives so that God could be their top priority.  I was so busy thinking about the small group of girls who I lead and helping my husband get things ready for the trip that I did not even realize how much I would need this retreat. 

Life is busy.  We have things in our lives that have to get done.  We have to work, take care of children, do the laundry, go to doctor appointments, take our children to ballet recitals and soccer practice…we have things in our lives that we must tend to each day.  While we should be spending time in God’s Word each day amidst all of these activities, sometimes it’s hard to focus like we should.  We all so desperately need some time to get away from it all, not just for a “date night”, but for a few days.  We need time to put our lives on pause and to hear from God. 

So, how do we do this and what does this look like?

Jesus Advent Celebration

A friend shared this with me the other day and I could not wait to download my own copy!

Ann Voskamp, author of One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are, has created a special advent celebration booklet.  Starting with November 29, you will find devotionals each day leading up to Christmas. It begins with Genesis and covers stories throughout the Old Testament that all point to the birth of the Messiah. Nancy Rodden has illustrated full color ornaments that can be cut out and hung on your own tree—one ornament for each devotional. 

I am so excited about this free resource!  Our church will be setting up a little display for our members to have the opportunity to participate in this celebration with their family.  I hope you and your family will be blessed as you read the devotionals each day leading up to Christmas. 

To download A Jesus Advent Celebration, see here. 

Stuck in a Rut (See Free Chart Download)

Motherhood is wonderful in many ways, and I am so thankful that I get to spend much of my time with my children at home.  But, sometimes I feel like I do the same things every day…

Cook breakfast – get kids dressed – do the dishes – get lunch ready – fold the laundry -Get kids down for nap – wash some clothes – get dinner started – read books to the kids – eat dinner – do the dishes – get kids ready for bed

It feels like that’s all I do sometimes!  When we begin to feel overwhelmed by the mundane, it makes the time we have with our children seem not so special.  I don’t want to wish the time I do have with my children away because I am tired of doing the same things all the time. 

How do we overcome this attitude so we don’t miss out on the priceless treasure of having young children? 

I think we have to be more purposeful with our time.  We need to make a plan each week and each day so that we have a purpose.  If we don’t do this, it’s easy to get stuck in a rut, where we feel like we have to do the same things everyday.  We lose our creativity and our joy.  Instead of teaching our children how to make the most of each day God has given us, we allow our circumstances to put a cloud over our day. It’s time to remind ourselves that we need to make the most of our time and use each day as an opportunity for growth – for ourselves and our children!

Devotion Time for our Children

 How can a young person stay pure?

    By obeying your word.

 I have tried hard to find you—

    don’t let me wander from your commands.

 I have hidden your word in my heart,

    that I might not sin against you.

 I praise you, O Lord;

    teach me your decrees.

 I have recited aloud

    all the regulations you have given us.

 I have rejoiced in your laws

    as much as in riches.

 I will study your commandments

    and reflect on your ways.

 I will delight in your decrees

    and not forget your word.

-Psalm 119:9-16

 Even though our children may be young, it is never too early to begin reading God’s Word to them and helping them see the importance of a relationship with Him. 

In our own lives, we can sometimes let the busyness of life keep us from making God’s Word a priority in our lives.  But, this is such a huge mistake!  We must make it a daily habit to be in His Word each day.  There is no greater habit that we can pass on to our children than spending time in His Word every day. 

Our favorite Bible to read to our children is The Beginner’s Bible. The stories come straight from the Bible and are written in a way that children can understand easily.  The pictures are bright and really catch our children’s attention. Our son can’t wait to read a Bible story from it each night. 

As we read the Bible with our children at night, we also like to help them realize the importance of praying for those who have not had a chance to learn about Jesus yet. 

Traditions

“So commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these words of mine. Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. Teach them to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up.”

Deuteronomy 11:18-19

As Fall is approaching, it makes me think of the ways I want our children to celebrate the holidays.  What do I want them to remember about Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc.?  What traditions do I want to pass down to them?

One book that has been particularly instrumental in my life as I have thought about important traditions for our family is Treasuring God in Our Traditions by Noel Piper. It has been a good reminder to me that the most important thing I can impart to my children is Christ:

 “The things we do regularly that help us in our deepest being to know and love and want God, the things that help our lives to be infiltrated with God—those things are tradition…For a Christian, tradition is laying up God’s words in our own hearts and passing his words to the next generation.”

Throughout her book, Noel talks about the importance of “everyday” traditions.  Then, she focuses on some special things to do throughout the holidays to help ourselves and our children keep Christ first.  As I was re-reading it the other day, it made me think of some ideas for Christmas.  Some of the following ideas came from her book and I've stumbled upon some other ones.

Faith like a Child

"I want to be as a child, delighted in life, at peace with God, living in the grace of the moment.  I want to live above the pull of depression and cultivate a heart of joy from which others can draw.  I want to learn what it really means to be filled with the reality of God, and the joy of God every day, no matter what else is going on in my life." 

-Sally Clarkson

Since I have become a mother, I have learned so much spiritually.  I am able to catch just a glimpse of the love our heavenly Father has for us as I compare my own love for our children.  I am better able to understand discipline, and what the Bible means when it says: "For the Lord disciplines those He loves..." (Hebrews 12:6).  Just as my husband and I must discipline our children because we love them and want what is best for them, God must discipline us.  This past week I learned an important lesson by watching our children.  

Our family suffered a loss this past week as we lost a precious child through miscarriage when I was almost 10 weeks along.  It is hard to go through trials and a lot of questions filled our minds as we saw a heartbeat at 7 weeks and then learned that it stopped beating a few days later.  Life. is. hard.  Heartache is not fun, but I am learning that God can teach us through these battles if we will open our eyes and look to Him for our answers.  This does not mean we will always understand why things happen, but that He can teach us through them and He will never leave us.  

Making Our Children (and Ourselves) Aware

When I look around at the way our nation is raising its children, I see a lot of kids who are growing up thinking the world revolves around them. I see children who are led to believe that they can have everything they want and that they are all that matters in life.

While I want my children to know that they are loved, I want to do all that I can to keep them aware of the needs around them.  If all I ever do is give them what they want and if my top concern is keeping them happy, then chances are, they are not going to learn this. 

For Vacation Bible School this past week, I had the opportunity to teach about the persecution that goes on in North Korea.  I taught Kindergarten – Third Graders.  As I was preparing my materials, it hit me that I need to start teaching my children these important truths now.  It may seem a little overboard to think about teaching toddlers about our Christian brothers and sisters who are suffering as Christians around the world.  But I think this is where we get caught in the trap of not making it a priority. 

Doing Things My Way...or Not

"Much of our difficulty as seeking Christians stems from our unwillingness to take God as he is and adjust our lives accordingly.  We insist on trying to modify Him and to bring Him nearer to our own image."

-A.W. Tozer

 It can be so very frustrating, at times, to try to reason with a child.  Probably because they don't care what your reasons are, they just want what they want.  Tonight, as my family and I were taking a walk through our neighborhood, our three year old was begging us to let him get out of our double stroller so he could walk too.  Since we live in a low-traffic neighborhood, we decided to let him walk beside us.  First, however, we explained the importance of walking near the grass, looking for cars, staying right beside mom and dad, etc. We explained to him that if he disobeyed he would have to get back in the stroller.  At first he did pretty well, but then he began pushing the limits.  At one point, after looking back with a mischievous look, he darted right into the middle of the street.  We immediately scolded him and back in the stroller he went.  We tried to explain to him why he could not run in the middle of the street, but ultimately, he was just mad because he did not get to do what he wanted to do.  In my mind, I was thinking, "why can't you see that we are just trying to protect you?"  I wanted to open up his eyes to the reason why I wasn't allowing him to run in the middle of the street. 


As I was thinking these things, another thought occurred to me.  Is this how God feels when He's trying to get our attention?  I can think of so many times in my life when I didn't want to take the time to see what God was trying to teach me...I just wanted what I wanted and did not want to see things from God's perspective.  As women, I think we are more prone to take matters into our own hands when things aren't happening as quickly as we would like or the way we would like them to turn out.  

Motherhood

I could not wait to be a mother
This is what I prayed for…yearned for…begged for

Why, then, am I struggling to embrace my calling as a mother?

Sometimes I feel like a failure—like I can’t do anything right

The house is a mess

My children are so very demanding

I snap at my husband and become easily frustrated

And my attitude is not where it should be

I feel like I can’t keep up-like I can’t be the “supermom” I was supposed to be

It seems like so many other people “get it”—why can’t I?

I could blame it on the fact that my child is so strong-willed

Or look for a host of other excuses 

But, the bottom line: I am a mother

I have been given this gift

And I need to cherish it or I will miss out on these fleeting moments

Lord—help me not to compare myself with others

When I look around and compare myself to others,

I will never reach the mark.

Instead, help me to look to You for the way I am supposed to raise my children

To look to You for strength, wisdom, and patience

Because You, Oh Lord, know my children and You know what’s best for them

May I teach them to obey you and may you equip me to train them properly

For they are your children

And I have only been entrusted with them for a little while

I am a mother

This is not an easy task

Help me not to take it lightly

But, also give me the ability to laugh at myself

To enjoy this road I am on

And bring You glory each day

May I change my attitude so that You will shine through me

"In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father." 

Matthew 5:16

No More Chances?

"You probably know some disobedient, disrespectful children.  Do they seem like happy campers to you?  No, they do not.  Do you know any obedient children who don't seem like happy campers?  No, you don't.  Obedience and happiness go hand in hand."

-John Rosemond

Consistency.  It's the advice you hear from all the parenting seminars and books.  If you want your child to obey, you have to consistently follow-through, or they won't take you seriously.  Or, they'll end up confused because sometimes you are serious about what you say and other times you are not.  

Intentional Prayers for Our Children

"...when you pray, I will listen."  Jeremiah 29:12

 Our children are entrusted to us for such a short time.  Some days may feel longer than others, but as our children begin to grow, we realize how quickly time passes and how much they change with each passing year.  Instead of rushing through each precious memory, I want to take time to cherish each milestone and think of ways that I can teach my children how to follow Christ. 

Fooling My Kids

"...let them rest in the security of knowing that mom cares enough about them to drop everything else."

I seem to have gotten into a bad habit of trying to fool my kids into thinking they have my undivided attention when I am only giving them partial attention.  But, the thing is: I think they've noticed.  Of course, I can't just sit around and give my children my undivided attention all day long.  Nothing would get done if I did this!  There is laundry to be done, bills to be paid, a dinner to be cooked...the list goes on. But, I've come to realize that when I look back at my day, I haven't devoted much (if any) of my time to JUST them.  Time that is not interrupted with important thoughts or tasks, but time just spent on them. 

The Simple Things

 "As human beings, we cherish the little things.  Big events are grand, and if we're blessed enough to experience some, we should be grateful.  But at the end of the day, what we all want and need...is a full life, one dripping with meaning and richness."

-Tsh Oxenreider

On planning a family event, I usually spend time trying to think of something that will be super special and memorable for our children. I research family-fun events that are near us, and try to talk my husband into my new-found idea. But, with toddler-aged children, sometimes the ideas don’t go over so well.  A temper-tantrum or a blow-out diaper can quickly end all the fun!  I’ve come to realize that, at this stage in life, sometimes the simple things are the most fun for my children.  This past week my husband was watering the plants, and our three year old wanted to “help.”  He had an absolute blast!  His younger brother was quick to follow behind him, as they sprayed the plants and each other too.  Instead of putting a lot of time and effort into planning a day out and then getting frustrated when it doesn’t turn out as expected, I’m learning to enjoy the simple things.  All my children really want right now is a mom and a dad who are ready to give them their undivided attention. Here are some simple ideas that your kids just may love more than a day out. But, don’t miss the most important part—you have to participate too!