Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Marriage Assessment

When Scott and I had been married for a little over a year, we went to Richmond, VA for 8 weeks of training with the International Mission Board. After our 8 weeks of training were over, we would move overseas to serve as part-time missionaries for a year. 

While we were in training, a couple came and spoke to us about the importance of a strong marriage.  They shared with us that it is vital to take time away each year to assess your marriage, to talk about ways in which to improve your marriage and to take time to get away from everyday life.  They gave us a list of 20 questions: 10 questions were for the husband to complete and 10 questions were for the wife to complete.  Each year, you would make it your goal to take a trip together and spend time going over these questions. 

It sounded like a good idea at the time, so we filed the questions away.  Well, a year later, we pulled them out and went over them with each other.  It truly was an eye-opening experience.  As we went through the questions, we realized that we both had some unmet expectations and that we both had areas where we needed improvement.  The weekend was much-needed: we needed time to get away from the busyness of life and time to focus on our marriage and how we can be a better spouse.  We came home feeling re-energized and refreshed. 

I wish I could say that we have done this every single year, but that hasn't happened.  Life can get busy all too quickly and having small children at home makes it hard to find time to get away.  But, we want to make it our goal to take time away each year and answer the questions and spend some time away.  We are planning our weekend away right now, and I’m excited to have a little time away from everyday life. 

We have come up with our own set of questions that work best for us.  Feel free to use our questions, or come up with a set all on your own!  I hope and pray that God uses these questions to help draw you closer to your spouse and to our Heavenly Father.  

“Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage…”
Hebrews 13:4